I know that the future can't be defined by my past
And I want to love you dear but I can't guarantee it will last
Thought I fell in love before
Just to whine and beg for more
Than she could possibly give
Its no way to live
Its so dark outside, I'm just trying to find the light
God's Great Thumbnail shining out among the charcoal sky
Like a Roman emperor
An omnipotent reminder
Of the slave gladiator life
Its always pointed down
Oh no, she had to go
I lost control, now I'm on my own
I had such confidence
I placed my bets on an unknown soul
My fears always win
When she disappears my head just spins
To the point of no control
Watch me slowly burn away
I am a mute tree
John Barleycorn laughing at me, through me
Sometimes I feel like a witch that must
Drown in an ocean just to prove I'm human
As I go downtown to witness
A public hanging of someone who's innocent
Before they send him down, he said out loud
Words that brought me to my knees
As he said,
"Don't you cry for me
They can't own me
Before I go in peace
I wanna leave you with one thing
All our pain is parallel
Save a life and save yourself
Find a kindred heart
Before yours tears apart
Take the pain and find a way
To help another through
The things that burn in you
The things that burn in you"
John Barleycorn saw me, tried to console me
With words I'd never wish to hear
As my chest fills with angry acid
My stomach turns on end
As he said,
"Don't you cry for him
He is a man of sin
Only to be forgotten
You are nothing like him
You are still a free man
Go on and live your life
While you still got the time"
But if I'm truly free
Why do you haunt me?
Like a ghost that no one can see
Yet when I walk the town
I can see it all around
People who are just as scared as me
I'm praying for the day
When we'll all walk away
From all your lies that left us hypnotized but
I guess for now
I'll look up at the clouds
And pray that the rain will wash your filth away
For good
Light the match and fade away
Everything will be okay
Or at least that's what they say
Kill the past for a day
Put the paper under your tongue
Watch all the shapes turn out wrong
Look and stare up at the sky
Wondering why, wondering why
Slowing Shapes are in your mind
Try to leave this world behind
Slowing doubts are in your head
Try to forget them but instead
Are you lonely or are you alone?
Are you away or are you home?
Is there somewhere you'd rather be
Than with the things that you see?
Enter the wind from the West
'Cause it thinks it knows what is best
As the wind from the East is blowing like a hurricane
Trying to snuff out a zealous flame
Everyone's been dealt a hand to play
Don't let the wind come and blow it all away
As the queen screams out for the loss of her jack and king
Hoping their death wont mean nothing
As they all fit
Into their own suits
They came from the same deck
As me and you
Everyone's been standing, pounding on a wall
Shaking its foundation to the core
As the wall says back, "don't you know
I have no where else to go?"
Yet its business opens up its doors
We all rush in hoping there will be so much more
Only to find
It was us this whole time
And the wall was a mirror
Reflecting our own lives
Yet when the wind hits the wall it only bounces off
So we try to hide behind it hoping its tough enough
We all ran in here to find shelter from our dying day
We're all here to survive in our own way
Yeah, we're all here to survive all of our ways
Tonight
You're going out to try
To find someone
To rise above
This tidal wave
But when
You try and stand up tall
Your fear it brings you down
And everyone around
Will watch as you're falling apart
And they don't know who you are
But it's ok
And their
Words will come
Like a loaded gun
Pointed at the wrong target
As your ghost
Came to steal your crown
Didn't make a sound
So everyone will doubt
While you are falling apart
And they don't care who you are
But it's ok
Like a butterfly you can't catch
Like a champion who's met his match
Every time you find something new
Old memories keep breaking through
Like a broken bridge that's burnt to ash
Overlooked and fading fast
Like poem that nobody gets
With a clear thought you can't express
There was a time you though you knew
But war wounds weathered what you thought was true
You're a toy soldier wound up so tight
All the gears that moved you have broke inside
And now
Afraid to make a sound
Don't want to be called out
By people who are just clueless
To the guilt
That's manifest inside
Afraid to even try
So everyone will sign
While you are falling apart
The poison's reached your jilted heart
Don't go away
credits
released June 24, 2020
Songs and lyrics written by Spencer Carlson
Guitar and Vocals: Spencer Carlson
Bass: Alex Stoops Sabel
Keys: Charles Wicklander
Drums on Track #1: Luke Dumke
Drums on Track #5 Spencer Carlson
Recorded and Mixed by Luke Dumke at Pinehill Studio
Mastered by Steve Turnidge at Ars Divina Studio
Album Art by Callie Moore
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