The Universe is Screaming

by Spencer Carlson

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03:25
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03:11
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02:30
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04:27
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03:15
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05:14

about

'The Universe is Screaming' was written over the last few years, while going through a journey of figuring out my own identity. Balancing certain ideas that I believe, versus ideas that the world has for me. Getting lost in between what’s fact and fiction, from politics, gender, identity, to religion and how I should both treat others and myself. In this album I open myself up a little bit, but also try to make a stand for the small opinions I deeply believe in. I hope you enjoy!

credits

released July 14, 2014

Recorded and Mixed by David Jenkins at Uberbeatz Studios West
Mastered by Steve Turnidge at UltraViolet Studios
Bass Guitar by Steve Carlson
Vocal accompaniments by Farrah Nuff
All other music written and played by Spencer Carlson

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Spencer Carlson Seattle, Washington

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Track Name: Alien
Hi my name is Spencer Carlson
And I swear to god that I'm an alien
And all my attempts to be human
Have only left me more isolated.
As the boy waits
To get drunk at the party scene
A nomadic nowhere man
Dream of what life really could have been

And I'm
Sitting here listening
To silence waiting
For it to finally
Change it's key

And I would give anything
To hold you through the night and
Tell you that everything
Is gonna be alright but
My arms are tentacles
And my teeth are razor sharp
And every time I reached out to you
You always pushed me back into the dark

And I'm
Sitting here listening
To silence waiting
For it to finally
Change it's key

And I wish that I never knew
I wish that I never knew
What it takes for you
To forget the pain that's haunting
That’s haunting you

I dream to be the one
To save you from this hell but
Everybody else shows you
Ways to save yourself so
What does that make me?
I don't know I'll
Never be as good as a drug
So I will just go where

I'm
Sitting and Listening
To Silence waiting
For it to Finally
Track Name: Northern Star
He just wanted a one-night stand
That carried one month too long
Bloomed into a full relationship
That felt completely wrong
And don’t you dare ask why
‘Cos he wont wanna explain
How he loved you for just
One day

Yet you’re constantly telling me you don’t need a man
To break your heart again
Your north star died a long time ago
That would’ve led you to a place you’ll never know

Scream at the Earth the mother of
All this confusion
But she just told you to be quiet
And quit your bitching
If you complain than you’re crazy
But don’t hide in your shell
‘Cos I would love you more than you could ever
Hate yourself

Yet you’re constantly telling me you don’t need a man
To break your heart again
Your north star died a long time ago
That would’ve led you to a place you’ll never know

And all you’ve got are all your
Fears and insecurities
And all shit that people put
In your head
And all I’ve got are all my
Fears and insecurities
But when I’m with you I am
So captivated


When I saw in your eyes it was like
Looking into space infinite
All the emotional planets orbiting around
What’s looking back at me
And the laugh that brought me back to
When I was a child and everything was fine
It was like a soft song to let my
Heart unwind

Yet you’re constantly telling me you don’t need a man
To break your heart again
Your north star died a long time ago
That would’ve led you to a place you’ll never know
Constantly telling me you don’t need a man
To break your heart again
So, I will be that close friend
Who will be there until the end
Track Name: Chalk Outline
The sun burns bright all day and night
The moon comes to steal it's light
I was sitting by myself
I couldn't help to notice your shine

I was sitting by my chalk outline on the floor
You came like the sun to destroy the night that held me before

You don't have to dress up like a
Barbie doll to look so beautiful
I'll make sure you shine like you're supposed to
You don't deserve to feel like you're being used

I was sitting by my chalk outline on the floor
You came like the sun to destroy the night that held me before

And they’re just want to remind you
That there's nothing you can do
But I'm here to tell you
I’m in love with everything that you do

I don't mind your cold fingertips
That means my body is warm for you
Sitting, waiting for you to decide
If you want to go out or stay by my side

I was sitting by my chalk outline on the floor
And you came like the sun to destroy the night that held me before
So come sit by my side and set me on fire with your love
Who needs the world when I’ve got the girl that burns like the sun
Track Name: Sweet Singing Ghost
Slow my heart sweet singing girl
Fill it up with every word

And all they hear is when you're near
Like some kind of ghost
And when you leave, you take everything
And you never let it go
You never let it go

Look right into my eyes
And please take off that disguise

The worst thing of being invisible
Is that no one ever knows
All they say is to wait a day
And the pain will pass away
Yeah, you'll pass away

Share your songs with me
Let go of everything

Who have lied to you, who have hurt you
They don't mean a thing
And when you’re alone you can be sure
That I'll join in and sing
Track Name: Nobody
Everyday feels just the same
When no one can see you anymore
Words slowly lose their meaning
When nobody listens anymore
What you’ve got ain't what you need
When nobody needs you anymore
All your opinions become pointless
When nobody cares anymore

And so you hide and deny
All of the pain you hold inside
Love is just a game that slowly died away
That nobody’s playing anymore

All of your feelings become empty
When nobody feels you anymore
All your longings make you feel guilty
When no one wants to know anymore

And so you hide and deny
All of the pain you hold inside
Love is just a game that slowly died away
That nobody’s playing anymore

Everyone says
What they think is best
But you don't wanna listen anymore

You made your move, bet you wont think twice
When no one can see you anymore
Time turns away, and days slowly fade
When no one can save you anymore
She was waiting for the perfect moment
But she won’t know you anymore
All the love that she had to give
You wont know anymore
Track Name: Church
Sitting here skipping church
Trying to write you a song
It’s taking all day long
But I like you
Sat here once before
Playing the guitar
Along with me
Made the song complete

But I had this feeling that you would never need me
I let the pain sink so low
To the point where I’d push you away just to save your day
You don’t need to know

That now I will learn how
To play by myself in this town
I’ll play ‘til my fingers bleed
I miss your melody
This insecurity is getting the best of me

But if you choose that you miss me too
You could always join me in the youth room
You could play the keys
Or you could play the strings
Or you could even sing along with me

‘Cos when you sing the stars burn bright
As they all fall into line
You are adding beauty to life
One lullaby at a time

And when you speak
Wisdom leaks
From your lips, leaves me hanging
On every word that you say
Gets louder the further you are away

But you keep saying how we barely even know each other
Well, this ain’t a love song, it’s a proposal
That we get to know each other
Track Name: Mid-Air
Woke up to a nightmare
Where gravity disappeared
Scrambling around mid-air
Just to find no one's there
Bright florescent light
Hiding away midnight
It's just not the same
It doesn't feel right

All this pretending
Is bringing me nothing
All this anger
Is making me more empty
Scrambling around in mid-air
Just to find no one's there

Spending everyday
Breaking under pressure
Over digging countless holes
For some kind of treasure
Just to have someone
Fill them back up
Send me out again
And tell me I'm worthless

All this pretending
Is bringing me nothing
All this anger
Is making me more empty
Scrambling around mid-air
Just to find no one's there

And I don’t know where I’ll go
If this light bulb should break
Falling down into a deep darkness
That I’ve tried so hard to escape
The same darkness I have made

There are plenty of fish in the sea
But none like you
As the bottom feeders sank so low
We swam way up high
But we fell into a whirlpool
And I didn't take it right
Don't want any drugs
Don't want any alcohol
Just want you to know
I'm still here after all
Scrambling around mid-air
Just to find no one's there
Track Name: Bitter Battles
I don't want to listen to your bullshit today
'Cos you never really have anything good to say
Empathy is dying away
Free to judge and to abdicate
You’re just hiding behind cruel words
That wont ever get you anywhere

Every one is walking around at night
Trying to find their own piece of sunlight
Shady figures roaming the alley way
Just trying to survive the day
Always under constant judgment
By people who don't know them

All the agreements you've made
To everything that they've said
Have seem to found a way
Deep inside
To brake the pride you once held on to

Don't include me in your bitter battle
Of Politic, gender, religion and orientation
‘Cos I’m getting a headache
Just trying to fix my mistakes
It really is a shame
When humans act inhumane
Track Name: The Universe is Screaming
Stuck on the side of the road
Confused with no where to go
People can see me,
Yet they keep on walking
Away, with nothing to say

Fear and anger holding me down
Just trying to reach out
Try and say hello
But I don't really know
How to make a sound

In a world full of opinions
I'm lost between what's fact and fiction
The universe is screaming
Yet no one is changing
As the world remains idle

Brain filled with haunting words
As my heart desire burns
Bottling down this riot
Just to keep quiet
For you what can I do?

Don't tell me how to be a man
Cuz I wont ever understand
How living in this binary
That tries to define me
Can be good for me

In a world full of opinions
I'm lost between what’s fact and fiction
The universe is screaming
Yet we keep on fighting
Arguments that don't go anywhere

All of your words and
All of your opinions
Cast it down a deep well
That no one dare drinks from
No one wants to listen
To what you have to sell

All of your words and
All of your hatred
Can only harden your heart
If one tried to love you, you
Wouldn't know what to do
How can you open your heart?
If you don't know where to start?
Track Name: Blue
What is the color blue?
Is it a human emotion?
Or is it just another
Meaningless color?
My entire life
Could be reduced
To an empty color
That never met much to you

And what is a word?
Is it a creature?
Or is it an icon
Left to interpretation?
Oblingattoh-tay
What the hell did I just say?
When you said you loved me
What the hell did that even mean?

Everyone
Is singing the same song
And I can't sing along anymore
I can't join in
This perfect unison
Of broken voices
In monotone
Yeah, I need more
Than your empty, practiced words
That we all have heard
Before and Again
Track Name: Saharan Sun
I had a dream we were stuck in the desert
A beautiful oasis forming at the basis of our feet
When a group of soldiers came right out of the mirage
Shot you down
And left me to die
Right by your side
Then I realized that I would join you there soon

Either under the eyes of the Saharan Sun
Or by the gift given from the trigger of my gun
I had to make a choice, one I could no longer live with
I'm tired of staring down
This barrel
Waiting for
The bullet to make its move

You came to me like an astronaut
Unafraid while others ran away
From my ship hidden among
All the forgotten and unwanted
You talked to me like you understood me
Like you knew me or saw right through me
You made me feel like I could be apart of
What I always wanted
You made me feel like a human being

It felt so real when I had to close your eyes
Couldn't keep pretending that you were still alive
With shaky hands, I pointed the barrel at my mind
And just sat there
Thinking twice
All about taking my life
Just sat there
Unable to move
Pulled real hard
Only to
Wake up in my own bed
It still felt like you were dead