1. |
Alien
03:25
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Hi my name is Spencer Carlson
And I swear to god that I'm an alien
And all my attempts to be human
Have only left me more isolated.
As the boy waits
To get drunk at the party scene
A nomadic nowhere man
Dream of what life really could have been
And I'm
Sitting here listening
To silence waiting
For it to finally
Change it's key
And I would give anything
To hold you through the night and
Tell you that everything
Is gonna be alright but
My arms are tentacles
And my teeth are razor sharp
And every time I reached out to you
You always pushed me back into the dark
And I'm
Sitting here listening
To silence waiting
For it to finally
Change it's key
And I wish that I never knew
I wish that I never knew
What it takes for you
To forget the pain that's haunting
That’s haunting you
I dream to be the one
To save you from this hell but
Everybody else shows you
Ways to save yourself so
What does that make me?
I don't know I'll
Never be as good as a drug
So I will just go where
I'm
Sitting and Listening
To Silence waiting
For it to Finally
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2. |
Northern Star
03:30
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He just wanted a one-night stand
That carried one month too long
Bloomed into a full relationship
That felt completely wrong
And don’t you dare ask why
‘Cos he wont wanna explain
How he loved you for just
One day
Yet you’re constantly telling me you don’t need a man
To break your heart again
Your north star died a long time ago
That would’ve led you to a place you’ll never know
Scream at the Earth the mother of
All this confusion
But she just told you to be quiet
And quit your bitching
If you complain than you’re crazy
But don’t hide in your shell
‘Cos I would love you more than you could ever
Hate yourself
Yet you’re constantly telling me you don’t need a man
To break your heart again
Your north star died a long time ago
That would’ve led you to a place you’ll never know
And all you’ve got are all your
Fears and insecurities
And all shit that people put
In your head
And all I’ve got are all my
Fears and insecurities
But when I’m with you I am
So captivated
When I saw in your eyes it was like
Looking into space infinite
All the emotional planets orbiting around
What’s looking back at me
And the laugh that brought me back to
When I was a child and everything was fine
It was like a soft song to let my
Heart unwind
Yet you’re constantly telling me you don’t need a man
To break your heart again
Your north star died a long time ago
That would’ve led you to a place you’ll never know
Constantly telling me you don’t need a man
To break your heart again
So, I will be that close friend
Who will be there until the end
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3. |
Chalk Outline
03:11
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The sun burns bright all day and night
The moon comes to steal it's light
I was sitting by myself
I couldn't help to notice your shine
I was sitting by my chalk outline on the floor
You came like the sun to destroy the night that held me before
You don't have to dress up like a
Barbie doll to look so beautiful
I'll make sure you shine like you're supposed to
You don't deserve to feel like you're being used
I was sitting by my chalk outline on the floor
You came like the sun to destroy the night that held me before
And they’re just want to remind you
That there's nothing you can do
But I'm here to tell you
I’m in love with everything that you do
I don't mind your cold fingertips
That means my body is warm for you
Sitting, waiting for you to decide
If you want to go out or stay by my side
I was sitting by my chalk outline on the floor
And you came like the sun to destroy the night that held me before
So come sit by my side and set me on fire with your love
Who needs the world when I’ve got the girl that burns like the sun
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4. |
Sweet Singing Ghost
03:05
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Slow my heart sweet singing girl
Fill it up with every word
And all they hear is when you're near
Like some kind of ghost
And when you leave, you take everything
And you never let it go
You never let it go
Look right into my eyes
And please take off that disguise
The worst thing of being invisible
Is that no one ever knows
All they say is to wait a day
And the pain will pass away
Yeah, you'll pass away
Share your songs with me
Let go of everything
Who have lied to you, who have hurt you
They don't mean a thing
And when you’re alone you can be sure
That I'll join in and sing
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5. |
Nobody
03:11
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Everyday feels just the same
When no one can see you anymore
Words slowly lose their meaning
When nobody listens anymore
What you’ve got ain't what you need
When nobody needs you anymore
All your opinions become pointless
When nobody cares anymore
And so you hide and deny
All of the pain you hold inside
Love is just a game that slowly died away
That nobody’s playing anymore
All of your feelings become empty
When nobody feels you anymore
All your longings make you feel guilty
When no one wants to know anymore
And so you hide and deny
All of the pain you hold inside
Love is just a game that slowly died away
That nobody’s playing anymore
Everyone says
What they think is best
But you don't wanna listen anymore
You made your move, bet you wont think twice
When no one can see you anymore
Time turns away, and days slowly fade
When no one can save you anymore
She was waiting for the perfect moment
But she won’t know you anymore
All the love that she had to give
You wont know anymore
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6. |
Church
02:30
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Sitting here skipping church
Trying to write you a song
It’s taking all day long
But I like you
Sat here once before
Playing the guitar
Along with me
Made the song complete
But I had this feeling that you would never need me
I let the pain sink so low
To the point where I’d push you away just to save your day
You don’t need to know
That now I will learn how
To play by myself in this town
I’ll play ‘til my fingers bleed
I miss your melody
This insecurity is getting the best of me
But if you choose that you miss me too
You could always join me in the youth room
You could play the keys
Or you could play the strings
Or you could even sing along with me
‘Cos when you sing the stars burn bright
As they all fall into line
You are adding beauty to life
One lullaby at a time
And when you speak
Wisdom leaks
From your lips, leaves me hanging
On every word that you say
Gets louder the further you are away
But you keep saying how we barely even know each other
Well, this ain’t a love song, it’s a proposal
That we get to know each other
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7. |
Mid-Air
04:27
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Woke up to a nightmare
Where gravity disappeared
Scrambling around mid-air
Just to find no one's there
Bright florescent light
Hiding away midnight
It's just not the same
It doesn't feel right
All this pretending
Is bringing me nothing
All this anger
Is making me more empty
Scrambling around in mid-air
Just to find no one's there
Spending everyday
Breaking under pressure
Over digging countless holes
For some kind of treasure
Just to have someone
Fill them back up
Send me out again
And tell me I'm worthless
All this pretending
Is bringing me nothing
All this anger
Is making me more empty
Scrambling around mid-air
Just to find no one's there
And I don’t know where I’ll go
If this light bulb should break
Falling down into a deep darkness
That I’ve tried so hard to escape
The same darkness I have made
There are plenty of fish in the sea
But none like you
As the bottom feeders sank so low
We swam way up high
But I fell into a whirlpool
And I didn't take it right
Don't want any drugs
Don't want alcohol
Just want you to know
I'm still here after all
Scrambling around mid-air
Just to find no one's there
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8. |
Bitter Battles
03:14
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I don't want to listen to your bullshit today
'Cos you never really have anything good to say
Empathy is dying away
Free to judge and to abdicate
You’re just hiding behind cruel words
That wont ever get you anywhere
Every one is walking around at night
Trying to find their own piece of sunlight
Shady figures roaming the alley way
Just trying to survive the day
Always under constant judgment
By people who don't know them
All the agreements you've made
To everything that they've said
Have seem to found a way
Deep inside
To brake the pride you once held on to
Don't include me in your bitter battle
Of Politic, gender, religion and orientation
‘Cos I’m getting a headache
Just trying to fix my mistakes
It really is a shame
When humans act inhumane
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9. |
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Stuck on the side of the road
Confused with no where to go
People can see me,
Yet they keep on walking
Away, with nothing to say
Fear and anger holding me down
Just trying to reach out
Try and say hello
But I don't really know
How to make a sound
In a world full of opinions
I'm lost between what's fact and fiction
The universe is screaming
Yet no one is changing
As the world remains idle
Brain filled with haunting words
As my heart desire burns
Bottling down this riot
Just to keep quiet
For you what can I do?
Don't tell me how to be a man
Cuz I wont ever understand
How living in this binary
That tries to define me
Can be good for me
In a world full of opinions
I'm lost between what’s fact and fiction
The universe is screaming
Yet we keep on fighting
Arguments that don't go anywhere
All of your words and
All of your opinions
Cast it down a deep well
That no one dare drinks from
No one wants to listen
To what you have to sell
All of your words and
All of your hatred
Can only harden your heart
If one tried to love you, you
Wouldn't know what to do
How can you open your heart?
If you don't know where to start?
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10. |
Blue
03:15
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What is the color blue?
Is it a human emotion?
Or is it just another
Meaningless color?
My entire life
Could be reduced
To an empty color
That never meant that much to you
And what is a word?
Is it a creature?
Or is it an icon
Left to interpretation?
Oblingattoh-tay
What the hell did I just say?
When you said you loved me
What the hell did that even mean?
Everyone
Is singing the same song
And I can't sing along anymore
I can't join in
This perfect unison
Of broken voices
In monotone
Yeah, I need more
Than your empty, practiced words
That we all have heard
Before and Again
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11. |
Saharan Sun
05:14
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I had a dream we were stuck in the desert
A beautiful oasis forming at the basis of our feet
When a group of soldiers came right out of the mirage
Shot you down
And left me to die
Right by your side
Then I realized that I would join you there soon
Either under the eyes of the Saharan Sun
Or by the gift given from the trigger of my gun
I had to make a choice, one I could no longer live with
I'm tired of staring down
This barrel
Waiting for
The bullet to make its move
You came to me like an astronaut
Unafraid while others ran away
From my ship hidden among
All the forgotten and unwanted
You talked to me like you understood me
Like you knew me or saw right through me
You made me feel like I could be apart of
What I always wanted
You made me feel like a human being
It felt so real when I had to close your eyes
Couldn't keep pretending that you were still alive
With shaky hands, I pointed the barrel at my mind
And just sat there
Thinking twice
All about taking my life
Just sat there
Unable to move
Pulled real hard
Only to
Wake up in my own bed
It still felt like you were dead
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Spencer Carlson Seattle, Washington
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